Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Can a Fred Win?

One a talk radio show this morning there was discussion on the fact that there has never been a presidential candidate named Fred. I didn’t know there was one running in 2008, so I did a bit of research this morning. It appears there is a potential republican candidate that indeed is named Fred. Fred Dalton Thompson, former Senator and current District Attorney on the popular NBC Law & Order, has not officially entered the rat race, but has apparently thrown his name out there. In my bit of research, I also discovered he has a birthday coming up this Sunday one day after mine.

Now, I have to say, nothing against Fred Dalton Thompson, but I’m not so sure I’m a fan of the name Fred. Ok, really, I can only think of one reference to a Fred and that was a box turtle I found in the field at my parents house when I was in high school or just out-can’t remember exactly. Anyway, Fred was your typical turtle, he eat fruit and bugs and mostly hung out in his little box. He was a friendly sort he would sit in your lap and let you pet the top of his little head and he would seem as content as Maggie in a paper sack. Anyway, one day I had Fred out and he was climbing up my arm as he had done multiple times in the past, however, something spooked him or he suddenly thought I was lunch because he bit down on my neck. Only he did not just bite, he attached, I tell you that Fred was not letting go for anything. I was walking around trying to stay calm with a turtle dangling from my neck. It hurt like a ****** ******! Finally, when it appeared that Fred was not going to let go on his own, my Dad had to pry Fred’s mouth open just enough to get him off me, it almost didn’t work and Fred almost lost his head, but he released and was put back in the box. I had a horrible bruise on my neck for a couple of weeks and I lost my affection for Fred. I do believe I released him back to the field. He had come from there and he could fend for himself again. I tried to give him a life of luxury and such; I didn’t see him finding fresh strawberries on his own too often is all I’m saying.

Anyway-based on this Fred factor, I just have to say, I’m not so sure Fred Dalton Thompson will have my vote, but then again I guess maybe not all Fred’s are alike.

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